The Daily Panic is deeply dismayed by the decision of various Western countries to continue issuing incredibly blandstatements regarding local developments in the Maldives. The Daily Panic reminds all stakeholders that many of these are English speaking countries, and should know how to not be boring in their own language. We note with great concern that tedious language such as this is counterproductive to the purpose of holding reader stakeholder attention.
We urge diplomats to avoid maximum dullness, and exercise less restraint in their choice of words. The rights of readers stakeholders are best served with greater lyrical flourishes and livelier sentences. We look forward to timely resolution of this long-standing issue, and remind all stakeholders that the continued support of The Daily Panic in this matter is assured.
The Daily Panic brings you the absolute latest breaking news from the past month or so. The Daily Panic refuses to speculate on Gasim's involvement in disappearance of Flight MH 370 The mysterious disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 that has baffled aviation experts around the world continues to dominate news…
BREAKING PANIC: The Daily Panic brings you the absolute latest breaking news from this week. And other weeks. Slavery Industry Gets Much Needed Boost Maldives Immigration Department took firm steps today to alleviate the misery of the nation's long suffering slave traders. Until now, slave traders in the Maldives had to…
BREAKING PANIC: The Daily Panic brings you the latest breaking news from earlier this week. H.E.P Abdulla Yameen Abdul Gayoom is President The Daily Panic is pleased to announce that His Excellency President al-Ustaz Abdulla Yameen Abdul Gayoom has won by a slim margin a resounding electoral victory. "Abdulla Yameen's…
Now now, you should know that offending the arabs is a dangerous thing for a whiteskin to do. Please, put yourselves in the whiteskin’s shoes and imagine what will happen to their countries if they speak out against the imperialists.
Let’s stop depending on those pansies, build our own nuclear program and rain devastation on the enemy’s empire!
Because you guys liked, RT’d and shared the hell out of the last edition, this week I focus on aqeeda-endangering textbooks, Dunya’s return to the dark side, and Muizzu engaged in a series of unfortunate Muizzed up things. These are short takes on the headlines of the week gone by. Dunya rejoins the regime Dunya […]
This is the third instalment in the Dhoonidhoo Diaries series where I pen down my experiences in Dhoonidhoo prison where I was incarcerated following an unprecedented regime crackdown on the May Day rally. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Nearly 200 democratic protesters were arrested on 1st May 2015 by the Maldives’ authoritarian […]
1st May 2015 saw the largest anti-government protests in Maldivian history, with nearly 20,000 protesters filling the main thoroughfare in Malé. I was among the nearly 200 democratic protesters arrested that day, in the largest police crackdown in over a decade. I was released after being held for 21 days without trial. But several May […]
1st May 2015 saw the largest anti-government protests in Maldivian history, with nearly 20,000 protesters filling the main thoroughfare in Malé. It also saw the largest police crackdown in over a decade, with nearly 200 democratic protesters arrested. I was among those arrested, and was held captive for 21 days, including 5 days of house […]
I remember the exact moment when I first saw Ahmed Rilwan. It was late 2009, and I had just arrived in the Maldives. Some bloggers had gotten together to sort of welcome me and get introduced. We were sitting in a sea-side café at night, when he walked in with two other well known bloggers. We hit […]
The Daily Panic is deeply dismayed by the decision of various Western countries to continue issuing incredibly bland statements regarding local developments in the Maldives. The Daily Panic reminds all stakeholders that many of these are English speaking countries, and should know how to not be boring in their own language. We note with great concern that tedious language such as this is counterproductive to the purpose of holding 
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Now now, you should know that offending the arabs is a dangerous thing for a whiteskin to do. Please, put yourselves in the whiteskin’s shoes and imagine what will happen to their countries if they speak out against the imperialists.
Let’s stop depending on those pansies, build our own nuclear program and rain devastation on the enemy’s empire!