Maldives scholar: Marital rape is the best rape

Filed in Society & Beliefs by on January 15, 2014 11 Comments

The VP of the Maldives Fiqh Academy, Dr Mohamed Iyaz Abdul Latheef, has confirmed today that marital rape is the best rape.

The comments were made in response to a question regarding the contents of the Sexual Offenses Bill. The bill, passed in late December by 67 out of 69 MPs in attendance, was returned today by President Abdulla Yameen without ratification, as it contained a few sensible clauses that were deemed to be in contravention to the holy tenets of the Adhaalath Party.

To quote Minivan News, the bill doesn’t recognize marital rape except in four circumstances:

1. While a case for dissolution of the marriage is in a court
2. While the divorce filed by either husband or wife is pending a court
3. Sexual intercourse to intentionally transmit a sexually transmitted disease
4. During a mutually agreed separation (without divorce)

But even this partial, sort of recognition of a woman’s rights in a relationship was found to be in contravention of Adhaalathism.

In his comments that suggest marital rape is the best rape – the kind that even God condones – Iyaz mentioned that it is “not permissible for a woman to refrain from sex when the husband is in need”.  In fact, Iyaz clarified, even in the case of a revocable divorce, a man can simply rape his ex-wife back into a marriage. Which, presumably, legitimizes all the rape from that point onwards.

Iyaz

Rape: The secret behind this man’s happy marriages?

[Editors Note: We have fired a young journalist who demanded that Iyaz provide his sources for claiming that rape is permissible in Islam. The Editor notes that Iyaz wears a funny hat and has a beard, and therefore his utterances are beyond all reproach. At The Daily Panic,  we strongly believe that, unlike rape, questioning a bearded Sheikh is actually a frightful sin]

Our team of translators have independently confirmed that in the Arabic language, “not permissible for a woman to refrain from sex with the husband…” is the exact lexical equivalent of “the husband should then rape the wife if she refuses”.  

The Daily Panic’s Senior Islam Correspondent nodded along in agreement as we were fleshing out this story and added, “In Islam, it is not permissible for banks to charge interest. If your banker refuses you interest-free loans, you burn that motherfucker down before looting his money. Also, you must rape him first. It is the proper Islamic way.” 

Iyaz’s comments were met with absolutely no outrage from Maldivian society at large. As Minivan News reported earlier, a 2007 study by the Ministry of Gender and Family found that 58% of women feel obliged to have sex with their husbands at the latter’s will. The remaining 42%, we imagine, should get raped, brutalized and battered until the Heavens smile in approval.

While researching this story, our researchers came across the following hadith – a saying attributed to the Prophet – that mullahs like Iyaz enjoy almost as much as rape.

“When the husband calls his wife to his bed, and she does not come to it, while he spends the night angry with her, the Malaa’ikah (the angels) curse her until morning ” (Bukhari, Muslim)

However, in a comprehensive poll conducted by The Daily Panic,  100% of female respondents confirmed that they would rather have angels curse them till the morning than get raped.

As to why the man in the hadith had to spend the night angry when he could have simply raped her, our experts are still investigating.

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Comments (11)

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  1. baffoonism says:

    why wont sheikh jerk off until he gets his sexual desires get all wet and slurpy?

    • Ahmed says:

      Sheick’s got wives who are obedient to do that. I think its you who’s gonna jerk off because your wife wont have sex with you.

      • thelaststranger says:

        you are such an asshole ahmed. don’t you think that women have also rights to refrain from having sex as you have to have sex. and if what you say is the true teaching of your religion, f*%&k ur religion too, because it is not eligible to be a religion if it does not give basic rights to men and women alike.

  2. Ahmed says:

    If you dont want to listen to your husband and his demands, just dont get married.
    Live single forever.
    If you do want to be married and live the islamic way, dont just follow half of it, be ready to follow all of it. Verily, the creator know best.

    • The Daily Panic says:

      We understand, Ahmed. We really do.

      In Islam, God commands all men to rape their wives, if they don’t feel like sex. Our researchers couldn’t find the clause in the Qur’an and Hadith that asks men to rape their wives, but we have this on good authority. A bearded mullah himself.

      In fact, we have been applying this logic in our daily lives! Just today, the pizza guy walked into our office without greeting us. As you know this is very unIslamic, and God clearly commands that no one should enter anyone’s house without greeting and asking permission. So we had to rape the poor chap.

      We also saw some people walking about during prayer times, and had to rape them in public as well. It is quite tiring. But we are committed to Iyaz’s and Islam’s rape philosophy.

  3. Cyndi says:

    When are they going to stop being animals? Baboon like mentality. Good grief!

  4. maldivian says:

    the mentality of maldivian scholars.. typical.. dont u care even if the woman gets injured? if one isnt in the mood, one cannot have sex. get it into ur mind!

  5. Aragorn says:

    Rape them back into marriage. Such a true story. Ahmed it’s baboons like you that should never get married. Oh some guy who apparently collected Muhhamad PBUH’s Hadith’s said something so you believe it. That’s blind idolisation. Quran says a 10000 and 10 times that it’s the only book that needs to be followed in religion. But dicks like you who cannot get laid unless you demean and rape women needs to believe that you are right for following something not in the Quran. I seriously hope to god that assholes like you don’t even breed. You are the fungus in our society. You are what’s wrong.

  6. Ali says:

    Questioning a mullah isn’t THAT frightening, cmon. It’s all about methodology. Here’s my favorite one.

    First, you kidnap the idiot. Then, you make up a location, and make a stage. My personal favorite is the the Anti-Wahhabi Operations Base. Then, you strap him into a dentist’s chair, shine a powerful light into his face and start asking questions politely. Any lip from him should be responded to with an affable chuckle and mild usage of pain drugs. Keep him in the boundary of life and death, show him that no whorealeens or rivers of wine await him. Break his faith until he starts talking. Remember; you must be polite at all times. This will make him understand that his attitude is useless. Don’t be too direct. Make him pray for mercy. I also recommend an IV drip of mild caffeine to keep his mind awake and dull the effects of shock.

    Combined with the pain, sleep deprivation and humiliation of having to face questioners who know every one of his dirty secrets, he’ll start cooperating, just to make the pain and shame stop. And if he’s particularly cooperative, you can tell him that he’s been granted a moment for prayers. Listen to him pray for mercy.

  7. Aminath says:

    I’d like to see the Daily Panic’s take on Iyaz’s female circumcision fatwa.

    He also sent campaign text messages during the parliamentary polls saying that he will draft a bill (if elected) that will legitimize female circumcision.

  8. Reehaan says:

    I really don’t understand the Shiekh’s statement regarding how women must oblige to their husbands whenever they are called for sex. And if they were to refuse? Then men have the authority to rape them? I don’t see any rationality in this. If men can rape their wives until kingdom come, then why lay down an agreement of marriage between them?
    What’s stopping the man from raping women even if he was not married? And what is stopping him now?
    Great! So Islam is permitting men to rape their women into marriage? What sort of blasphemy is this?
    I just don’t get it. Why marry then>

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