This Week in Maldives: April 3

Because this week was just overall depressing, PPM MPs abandon Noah’s Ark, Velezinee continues making videos, Gasim submits his voice samples, and police want to investigate a topless model’s photos.

These are short takes on the headlines of the week gone by.

Two robbers charged with terrorism

The two were part of a masked group who entered a local Western Union outlet masquerading as telephone company employees, then threatened the staff, and escaped with over MVR 2 million.

That sure sounds to me like an act of terror against a civilian population to pursue political goals.

I’m not sure what the thieves’ original plan was once they had the money – but in the end, they left a trail of currency notes all over the streets as they fled the scene, and were easily spotted by eyewitnesses entering a nearby house.

Quite evidently, they’re not the most competent crew on the planet, and even the otherwise incompetent Maldives Police Service had no trouble apprehending them.

But terrorism? Really?

PPM MP Saud pledges support to Gayoom

He was promptly removed from the PPM Parliamentary Group’s Viber chat group.

MP Saud is not the first MP to abandon Noah’s Ark this week; MP Mohamed Ameeth also defected to the rival Maumoon faction for some unknown reason.

Also, he’s not even the first Saud to lose confidence in YAG recently. (LOL Nihan)

Islamic Ministry: Velezinee is an apostate

Aishath Velezinee, the former JSC member and prominent whistle-blower, has apparently been declared an apostate by the regime’s Ministry of Islamic Affairs.

For years, Velezinee almost single-handedly kept alive the issue of the judiciary being established in contravention of Article 285 of the constitution. For her efforts, she was stabbed once and subjected to incredible levels of targeted threats, harassment and ridicule.

Over the past year or so, Velezinee, who is presently residing in Europe, had been acting increasingly erratic – making increasingly bizarre comments and videos on social media.

She has made some public comments about me too. But at no point have I felt that she was an enemy or a threat. Instead, I see a brilliant mind pushed over the edge, and clearly in need of professional help.

Unfortunately, that’s not how most people see her.

Last week, appearing dark and disheveled in yet another bizarre video, she apparently made some strange claims about being a prophet (?)  I could barely watch a few minutes of the video. It got way too overwhelming for me to see the ghastly comments scrolling up the side.

There were hundreds of comments calling to murder her, vowing to kill her. They were calling her a lunatic, abusing her, ridiculing her for being a mad woman, ridiculing her appearance.

It is always horrifying to see people who think of themselves as ordinary, regular people – people who call themselves ‘decent folk’ – publicly baying for blood, murder and mutilation.

I look at these appalling comments, and find it chilling to realize that these are possibly my neighbours, friends and family members saying this.

When you see a troubled individual engaging in abnormal behaviour on the street, do you gather around and ridicule her? Do you harass her, hurl filth at her, and threaten to kill her?

I see Velezinee’s actions and recognize that she needs professional help. But I honestly do not know what to make of these thousands of ‘normal’, ‘sane’ people with seemingly no empathy.

Anyhow, now the regime also has joined the chorus and declared her an apostate, so I guess everyone else is in on the joke.

But I still don’t get it.

Maldivian model found dead in apparent suicide

The week got shittier still.

The lovely Maldivian model Raudha Athif who appeared on the cover of Vogue last year, was found hanging from the ceiling in her room in Bangladesh, in an apparent suicide.

This is the point where I stopped reading all news last week.

Two men sentenced to life imprisonment over record drug haul

They were found guilty of smuggling in 24 kilos of heroin into the country in 2014.

Unlike stealing from a Western Union, this isn’t considered terrorism.

Police: willing to investigate Katie Price’s topless photos

Me too, guys. Me too.

Police take Gasim’s image and voice samples in bribery probe

JP leader Gasim Ibrahim was summoned to the police regarding a ‘bribery’ probe – and his voice samples were collected.

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t imagine Gasim Ibrahim offering to bribe anyone, especially when he’s in one of his Anti-Dictatorship, Democratic Hero phases.

Opposition activist under arrest for defaming Yameen

He was arrested for “spreading false rumours on social media to discredit the government and cause loss of confidence of investors”.

The alleged ‘activist’ apparently denied having any twitter accounts.

Bitch plax. Who doesn’t have a twitter account?