The Daily Panic

The Dangerous Cat & Mouse Game

Have you ever wondered why extremists are so addicted to violence? Surely, there must be something that explains all that fascination for dynamite, guns, beheading and all sorts of explosions, right?

Well, guess what. Your favourite blogger has finally arrived at the ultimate answer to all that apparently inexplicable violence.

Tom & Jerry.

If my theory is right, Tom cat and Jerry mouse are responsible for half the death and destruction in the world today. Sounds a little too far-fetched? Well, you’re clearly not watching your religious advice on TV regularly.

In the last week alone, at least three wise bearded men on one of TVM’s many new religious advice programmes have explicitly mentioned the grave dangers posed by Tom & Jerry. Apparently, the cat-and-mouse duo can brainwash your impressionable kids into believing a whole lot of make-believe nonsense, unless you sit and spoil the cartoon for them by critically dissecting it in real time.

The knowledgeable mullahs passionately argued that parents must either NOT permit their children to watch this particularly violent and misleading cartoon, or at least point out to their children the imaginary and implausible parts of it while it is being played. Otherwise, the mullahs warned, the poor little children would get misled by Hanna Barbera’s anti-Islamic propaganda.

How true! Even I remember being completely besotted by the Tom and Jerry cartoons once, and swallowing whole the impossible scenarios depicted in it.

But then I turned 5.

It was around this age that most of my pals also began to have serious misgivings about the credibility of this popular show. By the age of 7, most them had successfully established beyond all reasonable doubt that cartoons were, in fact, NOT real life. Cats and mice didn’t walk on two legs. Mice weren’t cute, and didn’t regularly explode dynamite in the house. Ducks couldn’t talk and no real animal could conduct an orchestra. It was disappointing, but we had to grow up and move on to sex, rock music and grade school.

But apparently, there is a dangerous minority out there somewhere who have somehow never learnt of this crucial aspect of the cartoon – that is, it is in fact just a cartoon. And by the sounds of it, they seem to be quite a large minority – why else would the wise mullahs bring it up THRICE during prime-time national TV?

There had to be some truth to this. So, putting my very life and at least two limbs at risk, I went ahead and investigated these unsettling, disturbing claims.

What I found was just sickening.

Every. word. of. it. was. true.

Exhibit # A:

Look at these portraits. Disturbing?

Exhibit # B:

Really? Just a “coincidence”, Osama?

Exhibit #C

Israel cuts off Palestinian water, food and medicines. But they apparently forgot to disconnect HBO. Hence this.

Exhibit # D:

MGM studios and Hanna Barbera might have even inspired the rape of Nanjing. But I could not find that particular episode anywhere.

Again.. coincidence?

Exhibit #E:

Exhibit #F:

Whoever suspected that the suicide bombers had Looney Tunes playing in their head while going about their business?

Also, Tom and Jerry is the worst TV show ever. Period.


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